So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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