i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
