I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
