Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
tell me about the eggs
Randomize