It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
They took my balls.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
