dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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