Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
