hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize