she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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