I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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