his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
