she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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