ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
