M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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