They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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