She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
