Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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