finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
