I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize