I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
