He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i think im in europe. pls send help
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
