She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
