I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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