youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
