At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
