Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
