R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
