Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
