she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
