But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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