She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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