morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
