If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
