I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
