Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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