i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
