I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize