there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
