There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize