things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
