I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
