I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
