dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
