It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
