she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
