Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I am available for nakedness
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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