Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize