WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
