margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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