you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
