Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
