I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
barbara walters just said penis...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
