i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
