What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
