would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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