honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
