My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The uberlube is also flammable
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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