Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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