this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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