do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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