he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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