I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
