but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
