I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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