I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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