Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
