Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
