I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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