If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
