i just had sex bonerless
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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