stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize