It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
