last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
